Step #12 Breathe

Emily Suzanne Randall: actress/assistant stage manager/prop locator/actor-technician relations regulator/go-fer/ AHHHHHHHHHHHH

The Barber of Seville is more demanding than I could've possibly imagined. I have so many responsibilities and I hardly know what to do with myself. I've had to choreograph all the ridiculous scene changes over and over again as things were added and removed. I'm constantly needed in two or three places at once: checking on props, putting on make-up, being on stage, being on headset, checking up on actors and technicians, etc. etc. Tonight was the most ridiculous night yet! I swear I've never been so stressed before in my life. Still, I'm having a blast. As crazy as this experience is, it's good for me. I've never been in this sort of position before, and it's empowering. But, it's still stressful. I find the best way to deal with the stress is to breathe. Stop for a few seconds and breathe. It's amazing how the transformation of oxygen into carbon dioxide can relieve so much pressure.

P.S. This is a picture of me with my black hair (don't worry Mom, it comes out with soap)

Step #11 Do it over and over again

Grammar and Usage class

Let me just say, I was not excited to take this class.

Day one: I felt overwhelmed. How could I diagram sentences? It didn't make any sense! I put adjectives where? What are adverbs again? How can I tell if it's transitive? Yeah...BUT! I soon discovered that it's not impossible. Diagramming sentences is easy and, dare I say it, fun--once you get the hang of it. We've been practicing the ten sentence patterns over and over again and I finally get it. We took a diagramming exam last week and I got 100%!

Anything is possible. Next on the list...make a million dollars

Step #10--At least I got a good story out of it

I was at the ward activity on Monday and I felt myself strangely drawn to the Tug o' War station. I took up the rope in my hands and began to pull against various opponents. Unfortunately, when I went up against my friend Eric, instead of pulling, I found myself being pulled. Before I knew it, I was face down in the grass with a twanging pain in my left hand. I decided to ignore the pain for the rest of the night and the next morning, but as I stood waiting for my Latin ballroom class to start I realized that my finger was about twice its normal size. As it turns out, I sprained my finger. HOW EXCITING! I've never sprained anything before. I'm bummed because it makes typing, playing the violin, brushing my hair, and doing pretty much everything harder, but I get a lot of sympathy, and hey! I got a good story out of it!

Step #9--No count downs

The past few months my calendar has been covered with little "x's" marking each day. I was counting down to something. Today I realized I had no idea what I was counting down to, so I've decided to stop. One lesson I'm constantly learning is to live in the present. When I'm always looking towards tomorrow, I don't have time to appreciate today...and then I realize a week has gone by and I wonder what happened to all that time I thought I had.

I remember hearing a quote from somewhere, I don't remember where, but it went something like this: "Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present." Too true. So no more crossing off days, no more count downs. Time to focus on the here, and the now!

Step #8- When you can't stand it any more, DANCE

The end of the semester is approaching. Crunch time. Stress time. There are moments when I feel like ripping out my hair or throwing furniture across the room. But those aren't real positive stress relievers. Instead, I try to do something fun: draw, paint, sing, blow bubbles, anything to take my mind off of my homework for an hour or two.

My favorite stress reliever these days is dance. I go dancing on campus several times a week and it's a blast. I'm actually starting to get pretty good too.

Step #7:It's where you feel the most inadequate, that you have the chance to shine

All my life I've been on top;When I took the hard classes, I got good grades; When I auditioned for choirs or shows, I made it in. This semester I was worried that my luck would change. On the first two days of classes, I sat there feeling small and insignificant, especially in my Shakespeare and Acting classes. The classes were hard at first, I was having a hard time understanding what the professors expected of me. But now, I'm passing all my classes with flying colors. As it turns out, I'm not lucky, I just work hard. Hard work pays off.

The past few weeks, my friend Caleb and I had been working on a scene from The Star Spangled Girl by Neil Simon. After our first performance of it, Hyrum gave me a B+ on my performance. I was shocked and discouraged. I'd never done that poorly on an acting assignment in my life. But, instead of getting angry or depressed, I stepped up my game and took to heart all the suggestions Hyrum gave me. After our second try at the scene, which was significantly better than the first, Caleb and I both received A's on our performances. Hyrum had nothing but good things to say about it. As you can imagine, I was ecstatic.

My Shakespeare class has been a true test as well. When Brother Waddell told us we'd have to write an 8 page analysis on one of the comedies, my heart stopped. But as I threw myself into the project and began to write the paper, I found myself enjoying the process. I got excellent grades on both the paper and the midterm exam. I am currently one of four A's in the entire class.

Now, of course, the key is to keep it up. No slacking off now. I have to keep my scholarship after all! Sometimes when I feel too confident in a class or subject, I end up performing below my expectations. It's where I feel inadequate that I am able to grow the most and eventually shine.

Step #6- Everything's Not Lost

There's a song called Everything's Not Lost by Coldplay that I absolutely love. It's a song about dealing and coping with hardships. I thought I'd go ahead and share the lyrics. They mean something to me, maybe they'll mean something to you.

When I counted up my demons
Saw there was one for every day
With the good ones on my shoulders
I drove the other ones away

So if you ever feel neglected
And if you think that all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

When you thought that it was over
You could feel it all around
And everybody's out to get you
Don't you let it drag you down

'Cos if you ever feel neglected
And if you think that all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

If you ever feel neglected
If you think that all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah
Hoping everything's not lost

Singing out
Oh, oh, oh, yeah
Oh, oh, yeah
Oh, oh, yeah
Everything's not lost

Remember if you ever feel neglected, everything's not lost.